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They tested this notion by using some of the same techniques…

Via Richard Wiseman’s excellent book 59 Seconds: Change Your Life in Under a Minute: As a result of the interviews, the researchers speculated that the best strategy would be to give a potential date the impression that in general you were hard to get (and therefore a scarce resource worth having) but really enthusiastic about him or her specifically.Random conversation with someone you’re interested in can be a bad idea. Via Snoop: What Your Stuff Says About You: Arthur Aron, a psychologist at the State University of New York at Stony Brook, is interested in how people form romantic relationships, and he’s come up with an ingenious way of taking men and women who have never met before and making them feel close to one another.Given that he has just an hour or so to create the intimacy levels that typically take weeks, months, or years to form, he accelerated the getting-to-know-you process through a set of thirty-six questions crafted to take the participants rapidly from level one in Mc Adams’s system to level two. The intensity of the dialogue partners’ bond at the end of the forty-five-minute vulnerability interaction was rated as closer than the closest relationship in the lives of 30 percent of similar students.In other words, the instant connections were more powerful than many long-term, even lifelong relationships.That said, don’t get so nervous about your words that you can’t speak…

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